Top

ON THE EDGE w/ missstephanieb

What they DON’T teach you at Lamaze Class

Last week we had our Lamaze class reunion – yep three months later you all come back with you babies – it really is pretty cool to see all the new babies an hear all the labor stories.

However Claudio and his dad-in-crime Mike were chatting loudly in the hall and were shushed by another classes teacher because they were going to scare the parents-to-be with their horror stories. Lol —- listen I WISH I had attended a reunion BEFORE giving birth. Our stories were real, raw and honest – nothing like those 1980s videos they show where the lady didn’t need an epidural but sure needed a good Brazilian wax!

Don’t know what to expect in labor? Just sit in on our reunion and you’ll go in like a pro! Know what to ask for, what you’ll get away with with the nurses and of course, yes ladies – the dreaded truth – all first time moms will have some tearing. Sorry to break it to you.

Best line of the evening? ” My flower now has more petals.”

So anyways – it was good to see everyone – and even though there were some scary moments – we all agreed it was worth it to have these beautiful loving babies in our arms.

So here are the before an after shots – pretty cool huh?

And yes, If you’re contemplating Lamaze class – it’s worth every dollar. You learn a few new tips, get to prepare with your baby daddy, and make new friends along the way! Jess and I still hang out once a week! (If you want the name of our teacher here in NYC – email me and I’ll shoot you her information!)

But if you really want your money’s worth – find out when the prior classes reunion is – and crash that party.

young love…..

Stephanie vs. the NYC Subway – Danger! Turnstile Ahead!

I’m about to change my blog to “the adventures of Maximo” – babies are like little mini Christopher Colombus’ — only cooler. Ohhhh to only hear the stories I recap from his point of view – I wonder what he’d say?

Probably just “my mom is a $&%^$&$# lunatic dont mess with her.” End of story.

Take this weeks adventure for example –

Now I don’t consider myself high maintenance by any means – well, maybe a little I mean I AM female. But, I just don’t know how people got around before GPS, cell phones, maps or cars. NYC is a cluster f*&% of zig zags, cabs and lethal bike riders all just waiting to take you out or steal your money. For the tourist, this is a dangerous arena, but for the average New Yorker, it’s a rather daily entertaining experience. This is until I decided to take Maximo in the stroller – an the subway.

It was the day of our Lamaze reunion (can you believe it’s been 3 months already?) so I thought it would be a nice day to spend in the city with fellow Lamaze classmate and mom Jessica. I needed a few things for Maximo and said we should hit up Buy Buy Baby prior to class. Excellent idea!

Now, Jessica and I both parked and met up on 60th street next to Roosevelt Hospital. However, BBB is on 25th. I said…should I drive? Jess said nah – let’s take the subway! Of course! Why wouldn’t we?! We were New Yorkers and seen strollers on the subway before. (I pause here to mention a while back while preggo I wrote a post on how moms carry their strollers up and down subway stairs and no one helps them…..)

So of course first we stopped for Starbucks and to map it out. You see- only a FEW of the subway stations are “handicap accessible” meaning they have elevators and doors you can open to pass through not just turnstiles. Because trust me, you don’t want to get off a stop and then realize you can’t even fit through the rotating turnstile. I’ve had this issue before with just shopping bags let alone a massive stroller!

So back to the map! We were at 60th and BBB is at 25th. The 23rd street station is NOT handicap accessible so we would have to get off at 34th street – Penn Station. Yes – the busiest station in NYC and still 10 blocks away from our destination. Ok we can do this – we marched out into the cold, coffee in hand and……… What’s that? Is that a big yellow sign that says out of order?!
F&*($#&$# serious? How do we get down there?

We pondered for a minute. Ok we could help each other but that would mean leaving one baby alone at the top of the steps. No good.

What if we took them apart and carried baby in one hand, stroller in the other? Fuck – the coffee. I’m not wasting a $6 latte. No good.

Maybe if we just stand here long enough someone will help? No good.

The bus? We had less than two hours and its 445. Traffic would take hours. No good.

Sigh, as we walked away admitting defeat, it appeared – another elevator in front of Trump Towers! Ok let’s do this.

Now we’re underground but we need subway passes. Only two machines are working so we wait in line. I’m punching numbers in to get mine when I look over and see Jess running a dude over with her stroller shoving herself in front f him. “Hello I was here first! I know it’s hard to see me with my massive stroller and all!”

Great- now were off to the turn stalls. Another line to wait for the attendant to let us through. Did someone else serious just jump in front of us again while I was swiping my card? I’m starting to sweat.

Finally!!!!

Crap. More stairs down to the 1 train? F&$*#($&# serious?!

Jess shrieks as she spots another elevator and we literally sprint for it. Now I’m really sweating.

Finally on the platform. Where’s the damn 1 train?!?! The A train arrives- lets just take it it goes pretty much the se place! Ok – Jess is getting on and her wheel gets stuck! “HURRRRRRY!” I scream as I am picturing her getting on and me waiting outside as the doors shut and she is whisked off somewhere in NYC my cell phone can’t reach underground. But -phew- we made it! Victory!!! No kidding either – look at these stats of getting ‘stuck in the door’ provided by the Gothamist.

I breathe a sigh of relief and we laugh a little. Then I look out the window as we pull into the next stop. I just blankly stare at the 72nd street sign glaring back at me and tap Jess on the shoulder. Yep. Wrong way. My New Yorker card should be revoked right now. I quickly look at the map and freak out a little when I realize the next station with an elevator isn’t till 125th street – the Heights. That’s like 10 stops away.

We can’t just get off at the next stop because we would again face stairs at the very least to cross over to the downtown platform. WTF do we do?!

Just then the man sitting across from us chimes in “you girls seem lost. I have some time till I have to pick up my daughter so ill get off with you at the next stop and help you carry your strollers.” Did I just hear correctly?! Is there really still chivalry and it’s found 10 feet below NYC?!

We don’t even hesitate to ponder the question and were scrambling off at 81st street before one of us gets stuck on the train. Thanks to our subway savior Stephen though, he held the door open to make sure that didn’t happen.

And there we were – us, our babies, and our subway savior all clamoring back up the steps and into the rainy cold streets of New York – coffee still in hand!

With a look of exhaustion, I gained enough strength to say thank you just as he was walking away. Jess and I just looked at each other, wearily laughed it off – and started the 20 block walk back to the hospital.

We had accomplished nothing but a great story. And discovering that yes – good people still do exist in the world – even in a hard city like NYC. I hope Maximo reads this and grows up to be the man Stephen was that day. (Little Michael too!)
** All images are reenactments since in the moment, the last thing I was thinking about was snapping photos.

** This story is made possible by our subway Savior, Stephen Beede – THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR KINDNESS FOR STRANGERS!!!!!!

Grocery Carts are Kid Friendly.

I am in Pittsburgh for a few days to see friends and family and am already learning point blank how I have become a New Yorker in just a couple years. Not only have others commented on my “New Yorker accent” **sigh**  yesterday I informed Jamie that I could not go to the grocery store with Maximo alone because I wouldn’t be able to push a stroller AND a grocery cart by myself – so we were going to wait until today to go with her.

She just looked at me and asked, “Stephanie, what do you think single moms do?” I simply replied, “order online!”

Jamie rolled her eyes. “Stephanie – do you really think every mom outside of New York orders groceries online?”

I just shrugged. “How do they get groceries then? He is too little to sit up in kids seat…” I stated innocently.

“I am not even a mom and even I know car seats FIT in grocery carts. Reality check tomorrow – you me and Max are going grocery shopping. End of story.”

Oh Jamie, how I love you for dealing with me LOL… So today is my first “outing” in Giant Eagle with Maximo and car seat in the grocery cart. Back into my YINZER roots we go! Stay tuned for the outcome –

Maximo’s First Year

Well since the progression of pregnancy photos were AMAZING – I figured we would do the same for his first year just to see how much he will change. It’s already been 9 weeks or TWO MONTHS tomorrow… and I feel like he’s already grown up!!  **sigh** so here they are – raw and untouched photos of Maximo – the first year!

***UPDATED 4/29/13 – NINE MONTHS NOW – OMG! ***

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6 months

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Maximo 6 months (2)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

7 months

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

7 months (2)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

8 months

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

8 months (2)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

9 months

 

 

 

 

Why Parents should live in a Tour Bus for the baby’s First Year.

No one told me just how much STUFF kids need to travel – oh my. Now throw in the fact that I HATE to pack – absolutely HATE it, but love to travel and I have some new added stress in my life.

Being a mom is awesome, but learning all these little sneak-up-on-you-details are getting more frequent.

The Shawnee Inn – Poconos (PA)

We decided to take a few days with our twins (our Dominican friends) to the Poconos to see each other and the babies as well as spend some time in the country – we can all use a couple days out of the city! The Poconos are only an hour and a half away, so it’s close enough for the first trip to see how it goes. The place we booked is a cross between The Shining and The Great Outdoors – complimented by the bear scene as one ran right out in front of our SUV as we pulling in.

Rewind.

1. Well, I spent the ENTIRE day before packing. Maximo is only 10 lbs and breast feeding so you would THINK he’d only need diapers. I thought to myself – this will be quick – Oh no. Reality check – the vehicle was so full of stuff we barely fit in the tiny little bags Claudio and I packed for ourselves. I had spare outfits, matching outfits, towels, the stroller, the CARRIER so I can walk, warm outfits, cold outfits, blankets, his sleeper. The list goes ON. I mean, at this point, first time parents should just live their first year in a tour bus – because you literally need to take everything the baby owns with you everywhere you go.
2. The car ride. Now, don’t get me wrong I am ALL about safety. But as a child myself – I remember riding in the middle seat of a truck. Was there even a seat? I think I sat on the console?! And I turned out fine. (IRONICALLY there is no photo evidence of this – well I bet there is hidden deep somewhere in my mom’s attic – but who’s going to go get that for me? LOL) So the fact that Maximo is all strapped up in his car seat drives him crazy – and me crazy. He hates to be confined. This makes for a long trip and frazzeled Stephanie. Add to the fact he despises a wet diaper and well, we have a lot of pit stops. And a lot of crying.

3. You still forget something. Since we don’t happen to HAVE a tour bus, we of course, forget something. This was the bug net. Have you ever gone into the woods in the summer right next to a river when the West Nile virus is rampant and your baby hasn’t had his shots yet? Yep, we have!!!! So smores by the fire were short lived. Thankfully, we brought more outfits than needed so we could share with our friends (that was their “something to forget”).

4. Check the size of your room before you book. You would think living in NYC we are used to small quarters. Apparently not because when we saw the size of our room, my heart sank. No WAY would we fit everything in it. Down to the front desk we go – excuse me, we’re first time parents and brought our entire lives with us? You don’t happen to have rooms the size of Texas do you? Well maybe they found out about my blog because we got a pretty sweet upgrade to a suite – a whole separate living area! SCORE!

Other than that – we had a blast! It was fun to see green and mountains and BEARS! Did I really forget to mention a $%&*( BEAR ran out in front of our SUV as we were pulling in? OH yeah. haha.

Maximo’s First Laugh

Well Maximo’s godmother came up to spend a week with us and help me transition into motherhood – Jamie AKA the baby whisperer if you didn’t know that already – and somehow we were able to capture this rare moment – his first laugh.

As any proud mother would do = I am sharing it with the world. Feel free to tune in anytime you are having a bad day, feeling sad or just want to see something totally innocent and priceless. It guarantees a smile every time!

(CLICK IMAGE TO PLAY THE VIDEO)

5 Notes to myself to Surviving Motherhood

I know I’ve been MIA and you have ALLLL been dying for another blog post – but I took some time off to actually be a mom. …well, that and motherhood is HARD – so finding time to blog is few and far between these days.

And right now Claudio is away for work so being a mom all on my own is REALLLLLY HARD! How do single moms do it? I am pretty sure there is a phantom nanny that shows up in the middle of the night to let the single mom sleep, makes her lunch, cleans up the spit up on the floor and then rocks baby to sleep so single mom can get a shower. (Actually there is and it’s called Grandma, but unfortunately I don’t have that phantom to come ring my doorbell at 4 am). Honestly – being a mom, especially alone, is a FULL TIME JOB. But ALAS!!!! HALLELUJAH!! Today I have found salvation in the Ergo Baby carrier – rocks Maximo to sleep while I make coffee and type this out and allows me both hands (FIRST TIME MOMS TAKE NOTE!! – but that is what this blog is all about!)

But the time FLIES. And I mean flies – I looked at Maximo today and realized he is 5 weeks, 4 days old already – and already snugly fits in his car seat. When he was first born he was so little his tiny head used to tilt to the side and we had to prop it up with a blanket to fit! (Oh the little moments you have to look forward to in motherhood that will be milestones)…

Last night I witnessed his first laugh. My newborn isn’t a newborn anymore….

So I realized it was important for me to blog so I can look back and remember all the little tiny things that he did that made me cry, laugh, love him more than I thought was possible than the day before, and overall survive. When it comes time for #2 (earmuffs Claudio LOL) or for you reading – probably baby #1 – these little (TAKE NOTES!) will come in handy.

#1 – Carry a camera everywhere. And a kleenex. You cannot take enough photos. And you will cry. TRUST ME. While you’re at it – buy some outrageous photo props – like this mustache pacifier,

or this beardhead in yellow – ok a present for mom for steeler tailgates – but i DESERVE IT! (yes these are REAL FOLKS! click to buy one and join me at the playoffs in January. Boom)

#2 buy this book – Go the Fuck to Sleep – and then go to YouTube and have Samuel L Jackson read it to YOU every night at 3am feedings – trust me you’ll thank me later. (big thanks to my other recent mom friend Jess!) CLICK HERE FOR SAMUEL TO BLOW YOUR MIND

#3 – TAKE TIME FOR ME TIME. Wake up and brush your teeth and make coffee. Apply eyeliner. Trust me – you’ll just FEEL better all day, since you can’t really walk around rocking a baby in stilettos. You need to take a moment to yourself. Babies are a lot of work – I mean, I went from pedicures and naps and socializing to spending my days nursing, changing, feeding, burping, rocking to sleep, bathing and singing to a baby. That 1 hour left? A nap for me. In 10 minute intervals. In a chair sitting up unshowered for 2 days.

#3a – learn to do everything with one hand. I recommend tying your one arm around your waist while you’re pregnant to prepare. This includes, but not limited to – feeding yourself, brushing your hair, making coffee, grabbing a new burp rag, opening a new box of diapers, pouring wine, and keg stands.

#4 Running water, fans, rain apps on your ipad and wind in the car all soothe a crying infant. And if that doesn’t work – call the baby whisperer – Jamie Jackson (aka Maximo’s Godmother). Yes, she really is folks! If that isn’t possible – and you’re still up at 3 am with a crying baby – you can wake up dad and try out that Daddle that Aunt Marge got you…even comes with an infant carrier! (yes – I have spent a lot of time up at 3 am myself you can tell finding all this shi*).

#5 GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. If you’re like me, you’ll get cabin fever- and not leaving the house for at least the whole first week can really make it kick in. To avoid being the inspiration for the next “based on a true story by Stephen King” take a walk, go for a drive, go get ice cream, a pedicure or Burger King. And make sure you applied that eyeliner so you at least look like a movie prop zombie, not a real one. 5 minutes in fresh air will do wonders for your soul, mood, sanity, and complexion. And babies love it too – and will love you more after it.

And with that – I am.. OOOOOOPPS excuse me WEEEE ARE (gotta get used to that!) off to lunch with Maximo’s Tia, Roxanna!

Anyone else have anything to contribute? I will 100% be up at 3 am looking forward to trying to new things!

Labor Pains – Delivering you Maximo Leonard Juarez

Well folks, he’s here! Maximo Leonardo Juarez has made his appearance in the world –

July 14th, 2012 at 4:37pm
7 lbs, 14 oz and 20 1/2 inches of pure love.

I said I would be honest in this blog, and let you all know how the pangs of pregnancy, and now motherhood, took over my life – so here goes the “A Baby Story: Maximo and Stephanie.”

WARNING – This is a labor story so DO NOT READ IF:

1. You are about to give birth and are petrified. I do NOT want your anxiety on my conscience.
2. Can’t handle the truth – as Jack Nicholson said. Labor isn’t all puppies and rainbows – but there IS a pot of gold at the end – xoxo
3. Don’t like a good story. Go watch some more Kardashians on E!

CHAPTER 1: PRE LABOR –

Well as you read previously, I spent the night in the hospital due to a minor “concern” and had been placed on bed rest for the last couple of weeks with ultrasound appointments about twice a week. Of course this meant daily foot rubs and being fanned with grape leaves by Claudio as I feasted on Chinese food and Sex and the City episodes, so who was complaining?

Then I went back to the doctor, who told me I had HIGH amniotic fluid. High? That’s good right? Lots of water for baby to play in – and trust me – he was having a BLAST in there. Dr. Feder said it’s not a serious concern, just not normal and we would have to watch the levels. If they got too high, there was a rise in concern of my water breaking at home as it could (a) flip Maximo into breech (YIKES! NO C SECTION PLEASE!) or (b) the huge water rush could push the cord out first which could choke him. Not to mention, a flood of 10 gallons of water just MIGHT be too much for Vera to handle.

So I was having “mom worries.” I was only 38 weeks, and Claudio’s sister’s wedding was coming up (yes, I was planning to STILL walk down that aisle 9 days before my due date come hell or high water). Plus I was still fixated on my due date! I still had two week until he was supposed to be here. Couldn’t he just wait?

Well that week’s ultrasound confirmed it – the fluid levels kept rising. Dr. Feder asked me if I had any plans this weekend cause baby was going to come. Um… just a huge family wedding is all. But Maximo needed to come out. At 39 weeks, babies are considered “full term” and there is no reason to leave them to come on their own when it’s better to have him come a little early with no problems. They wanted my water to break “in a controlled environment” and I agreed. I didn’t want to risk any problems with Maximo! So we set the induction for Saturday, so hopefully he would come that day, and Claudio could still sneak off to the wedding on Sunday.

CHAPTER 2 – INDUCTION

Joke is on me! Induction Saturday = you come in Friday night. The date was getting closer and closer. I had been on “bed rest” but when they give you a deadline – you go CRAZY trying to prepare. In two days, I tried to clean the house, get the house stocked with groceries, anything left we need? Maybe a quick manicure/pedicure for the delivery…. haha.. oh yeah, the Rehearsal Dinner is Thursday NIGHT! Did we pack everything for the hospital?

PRO: being induced means you skip triage. No sitting in pain in a mini emergency room for women in labor. You can sit in triage for HOURS until you fully dilate. Well at least till you’re about 4-5 cm right? Me? I went right into the labor room. Talk about a wake up call.

CON: I was STRESSED having a date! I feel like it would’ve been so much easier to just be sitting at home and WHOOPS! water breaks! Maybe lets take in a movie, a glass of wine, and trek it to the hospital. LOL.

So here we are again. Just me, Claudio and a hospital room. No food. Just ice chips. And cable. And a cell phone (if you saw all Claudio’s Facebook updates on the labor, lol, you know what I mean). IV Time!! YAY! (scarcasm). This time I BEGGED for a tiny needle and to keep it away from my wrist – that shit HURTS! So I took it in the hand.

8 pm – Dr. Feder came to see me. Time for the Cervadil. Cervadil is a little paper like piece they insert to “soften your uterus.” You can’t go into labor unless it’s ripe. Mine needed some encouragement. The nurse told me to dance and walk around to try and get baby to come down into position – so Claudio and I decided to have a Friday night party with Pittbull and ice chips (see video).

5 am – The night was rather uneventful, but about 5 am I was having cramps and pain and they came and gave me some morphine so I could sleep. That did the trick – I mean, I haven’t had as much as a TYLENOL in 9 months – so this made me a little loopy then I knocked the F out. I think Claudio bribed them with my M&Ms just so he could sleep lol.

9 am – Good morning from Doctor. Time to break your water! OMG! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! This is it. It hit me there is no turning back. Once the water is broken, this baby is coming. (yes, I knew he was coming, but somewhere in the back of my mind I thought maybe they’d send me back home for another week or 20!) My nerves were on edge. She poked around with a little stick and and I heard a little “POP” but just a trickle of water. “Funny,” She said, “I thought there would be more water.”

Well not to disappoint – remember when they parted the Red Sea in “The Ten Commandments” and then Moses let go? Well, let’s just say my water was competing for an Emmy nomination.

11 am – Time for Pitocin! They gave me a couple hours to let labor start on it’s own. I was feeling the contractions, but it made sense to speed up the process a little. Well it wasn’t long before those contractions were kicking in FULL TIME. Still at 1 1/2 cm – those puppies HURT! Claudio was holding my hand going – BREATHE! BREAAAATHE! Deep breath in! Our Lamaze teacher would be so proud.

Then “he” (I quote “he” as in “he – the evil one with the back needle) came in with the Epidural. This was the moment. Do or die. I had been dreading this moment my WHOLE life. I have literally been terrified of a needle in my back since I can remember playing tea party with my dolls in kindergarten. He explained the side effects and pros. I was already in tears. I knew I was going to eventually get it, so I said okay let’s do it now.

My heart was in my throat. They had me sit and arch my back over on the bed, clutching a pillow. I was in tears, and Claudio stood in front of me rubbing my shoulders. He must’ve seen the fear in my eyes, because he wouldn’t let me go. I couldn’t even look at him, or concentrate on anything. I was freaking. I felt them sterilize my back, and then numb the area. Ok here goes the needle – you’ll feel a little prick then some pressureeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee….. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

And I felt nothing. Literally nothing. Then my legs went numb.

Someone give this man an award! If my adrenaline wasn’t so high and I could remember his name, I would recommend him for EVERY PREGNANT WOMAN IN THE WORLD! And then I really felt nothing. No pain. No contractions. No legs.

CHAPTER 3 – DELIVERY

1 pm – I was feeling some pressure, like they say, the “need to poop.” I know. But that’s exactly what the feeling is. I could beat around the bush and colorfully paint a picture for you using cute, glittered words, but let’s just cut to the chase. I told the nurse this so she figured I should get an internal exam.

And…. 10 CM! I was fully dialated. HOLY FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! Two hours and it’s go time??? This was it. This was the time. The nurse said, relax, you need to give it another hour. You’ll feel when it’s time to push.

Another hour? What was I supposed to do now? Sit back relax and have a cocktail hour? Let’s get this baby out!

2:15 pm –  Time to push. I couldn’t take it anymore. They want you to wait till the contractions are on top of each other so you don’t start pushing too soon and wear yourself out. But hey, when you know, you know. And Maximo was saying it was time. Cece had just shown up to say hi and see how I was doing and I told her she could stay. JUST DON’T LOOK DOWN! That was my only request.

The next two hours were a blur. I felt like Rocky. DING DING DING! Round 3! Claudio had one leg, Cece had the other and I was pushing – and I felt like my EYES were going to explode. Andddd rest. Claudio would feed me an ice chip, Cece gave me some oxygen. Breathe for 1 min…. DING DING DING!!! Round 4!

Finally the doctor said, the baby just wasn’t getting over the “hump.” Or the pelvic bone. He was RIGHT THERE. I could feel him, but he was going to need a little help. He was sitting in there for a couple hours now, and he was getting distressed. Now, the word “DISTRESSED” is like acid to me. Distressed means – get the baby the F out or a c section is coming. Plus I was starting to run a fever – WTH – and we needed to get the show on the road. So we were going to give him a little help with a suction. A suction? Yes, a little vacuum that helps pull him out. Great. Now I am going to have a cone head baby. I had already told Claudio I wasn’t going to show ANYONE pics if we had a creep looking newborn. I mean, come on admit it! Newborns are NOT usually the prettiest of creatures – they come out warped, covered in fluid and white, smooshed, red marks, looking blue… you name it! I joked that if he had a uni-brow thanks to all the heartburn I was having, I was going to shave it immediately. Claudio didn’t laugh.

4:15 pm – It’s show time. Finally the doc was there and setting up show down below with her team. Really at this moment – everything is a blur. Time stops.

Time to push again. And this time I know he’s coming out. I keep pushing – and I. Feel. Everything. All I know is that I was screaming – in pain, in fear, in confusion. In joy. In relief! Every emotion you have ever know or thought could exist surges through your body in those few seconds.

And then he was here. Crying. On the table. The only way I can think of to describe it is that it felt like I was having an out of body experience. It was the worst and best moment of my life simultaneously. Pure raw emotion. I saw Maximo for the first time – and I could only think – Oh my god, I made that – that’s mine. That’s what he looks like – that’s a BABY! Wait, that just came out of me? What do I do? Is he okay? He’s so big! OMG is that really mine??? I was crying. In pain, and joy and just overall overwhelming floods of emotion. I watched Claudio walk over to him and call his name, and watched Maximo open his eyes and look right at him. He knew his daddy. Claudio was crying. Then he came back over to hold my hand. I heard the doctor talking in the faint distance.

Stephanie! STOP MOVING! I snapped back to reality as I felt the stitching needle. Maximo had decided to come out head sunny side up – facing up – the cord was around his neck and his arms were crossed on his chest. This means that at his widest point to come out….he was even wider. You do the math. Or let me help you – approximately 10 stitches. And the needle looks like a mini grim reaper’s sickle. Yeah. awesome visual I know. Ever see the Texas Chainsaw Massacre – the Beginning when he was a butcher? Yeah. I felt like I was in that movie. Or maybe it was Hostel??!

The hard part? They let your epidural wear off so you can feel the contractions to push. They don’t hurt. But by the time that baby is coming out – you feel EVERYTHING. And the stitches to follow? Well – I think you get the point. I was laying there crying, click click clicking my epidural to kick in again, but it wasn’t going to work before these stitches were done.

Truth be told however. Dr. Feder is amazing. She knew exactly what to do, how to do it, and kept me focused. If you know me – I need a strong doc to keep me in line an tell me what to do. She was THE BEST. Seriously, if you’re looking for an OB/GYN in the city – she could possibly be the best.

So let’s just say – I have a new found respect for women who have given birth. Words could never descibe the experience. I have tried, but even reading back – it just doesn’t paint the picture as I lived it. I guess it’s meant to be that way – it’s just one of those things in life you have to expereince on your own to fully comprehend.

But in the end – everything you go through is worth it. The nurses all tell you through out the whole thing – “but you’ll have a beautiful baby at the end of all this!” You could really care less when you’re having a contraction – I wanted to be like – shut the F up! I don’t care make this pain STOOOOOP! But it couldn’t be more true. At the end – it’s like nothing you went through mattered anymore. And you would go through it all again – and THEN some, just to hold Maximo in your arms.

^^^ and I can’t help but LOVE this little noises he made as a newborn. Only lasted first couple of days I’m glad we captured them 🙂 xoxo Good job DAD!

As I watch him sleeping and making faces as I type this on the couch, I couldn’t be more happier and can’t believe the journey of pregnancy has come to an end. It really is the miracle of life. How your body can create, nurture, develop and push out  a tiny human being with relatively NO help from yourself.

GET IN TOUCH

stephanie@socialmindedmediagroup.com

FEATURED ON…

footer Logo

FOLLOW ALONG!