Holiday Cookie Recipes for the Non Baker

This year I decided to go all suzie homemaker and SEND all my clients HOMEMADE baked Christmas cookies. Ahhh yeah, I know – you probably all got them by now. I hope. Before they mold or turn stale.

Anyways, it seemed like a good idea. Until I realized I was gonna have to roll a LOT of effin dough! Like A. LOT.  Christmas cookies are good in theory, but then you think about all the steps.

1. You have to buy all the ingredients, like a 10 lb bag of flour and whole bucket of butter. That shit is heavy to carry 10 blocks from the store.

2. You have to MIX it. In my kitchen, that means washing everything after each batch. EVERYTHING. REPEAT.

3. You have to let it cool. this is the easy part. Unless you have the patience of a drunk who has to pee in a 15-person line at Heinz stadium like me. Then it’s not cool.

4. Oh, don’t forget you have to ROLL the dough! And cut it out. That means you have to ROLL out one batch of cookies like 6 times,  if you’re the expert that I am and have broken dough.

5. Repeat. again. And again.

Needless to say, that’s why everyone got about ONE Christmas sugar cookie, and lots of other fun treats. The secret is out – this is why there is always a bunch of DIFFERENT cookies at Christmas! Because we are TRYING to find the EASIEST ones to make!!!

So instead of slaving over those healthy homemade sugar Christmas cookies this year –

try these death-by-cookie Holiday Cookie recipes!

 

Peanut Butter Kisses (aka KISS your toned ass goodbye)

You need:
1/2 cup sugar
1 cup PACKED light brown sugar
1 cup peanut butter
1 cup REAL butter, softened
2 eggs
3 cups flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
7 dozen Hershey’s Kisses (this time of year they have variety, like candy cane and mint so great a little creative!)

Make:

– Heat oven to 375°F.

– Mix sugar, brown sugar, peanut butter, butter and eggs.

– Add the flour, baking soda and baking powder.

– Shape dough into 1-inch balls (aka roll around in your hand like you did with playdough growing up) then roll in sugar. Place on cookie sheet. (use parchment paper if you have it! much easier!)

– Bake 8 to 10 minutes or until edges are light brown. DO NOT OVER BAKE! KEEP AN EYE! BAKER RULE 101!!!!

– Right out of the over, press a Hershey Kiss in center of each cookie. Spatula the cookies to a wire rack or countertop (with paper towels).

Cranberry Orange Bliss Cookies (Short-lived Bliss till that sugar rush wears off)

You need:
1 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1 cup butter or margarine, softened
1 teaspoon grated orange peel
2 tablespoons orange juice
1 egg
2 1/2 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups coarsely chopped fresh or frozen cranberries
1/2 cup chopped nuts, if desired

Frosting: Get Bold! Frost Yourself!
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
1/2 teaspoon grated orange peel
2 to 3 tablespoons orange juice

Make:
– If you’re smart you’re baking both at same time and over is already heated to 375°F. Get out some more parchment paper.
–  Mix up the sugar, brown sugar, butter, orange peel, orange juice and the egg. Just like before, stir in flour, baking soda and salt. Stir in cranberries and nuts. ( I actually threw in the cranberries and nuts with the sugar and butter. The world didn’t end).
– Make 1″ balls again for the cookie sheet. Here I actually pressed shaved almonds on the top instead of nuts in the dough. Get crazy!
–  Bake 12 to 14 minutes or until edges and bottoms of cookies are light golden brown. AGAIN DO NOT OVER BAKE!!! Then transfer to the wire rack or counter again.

– If frosting, mix up all the ingredients in a bowl and frost away! (once cookies are COOL! give them some time lol)