5 Notes to myself to Surviving Motherhood

I know I’ve been MIA and you have ALLLL been dying for another blog post – but I took some time off to actually be a mom. …well, that and motherhood is HARD – so finding time to blog is few and far between these days.

And right now Claudio is away for work so being a mom all on my own is REALLLLLY HARD! How do single moms do it? I am pretty sure there is a phantom nanny that shows up in the middle of the night to let the single mom sleep, makes her lunch, cleans up the spit up on the floor and then rocks baby to sleep so single mom can get a shower. (Actually there is and it’s called Grandma, but unfortunately I don’t have that phantom to come ring my doorbell at 4 am). Honestly – being a mom, especially alone, is a FULL TIME JOB. But ALAS!!!! HALLELUJAH!! Today I have found salvation in the Ergo Baby carrier – rocks Maximo to sleep while I make coffee and type this out and allows me both hands (FIRST TIME MOMS TAKE NOTE!! – but that is what this blog is all about!)

But the time FLIES. And I mean flies – I looked at Maximo today and realized he is 5 weeks, 4 days old already – and already snugly fits in his car seat. When he was first born he was so little his tiny head used to tilt to the side and we had to prop it up with a blanket to fit! (Oh the little moments you have to look forward to in motherhood that will be milestones)…

Last night I witnessed his first laugh. My newborn isn’t a newborn anymore….

So I realized it was important for me to blog so I can look back and remember all the little tiny things that he did that made me cry, laugh, love him more than I thought was possible than the day before, and overall survive. When it comes time for #2 (earmuffs Claudio LOL) or for you reading – probably baby #1 – these little (TAKE NOTES!) will come in handy.

#1 – Carry a camera everywhere. And a kleenex. You cannot take enough photos. And you will cry. TRUST ME. While you’re at it – buy some outrageous photo props – like this mustache pacifier,

or this beardhead in yellow – ok a present for mom for steeler tailgates – but i DESERVE IT! (yes these are REAL FOLKS! click to buy one and join me at the playoffs in January. Boom)

#2 buy this book – Go the Fuck to Sleep – and then go to YouTube and have Samuel L Jackson read it to YOU every night at 3am feedings – trust me you’ll thank me later. (big thanks to my other recent mom friend Jess!) CLICK HERE FOR SAMUEL TO BLOW YOUR MIND

#3 – TAKE TIME FOR ME TIME. Wake up and brush your teeth and make coffee. Apply eyeliner. Trust me – you’ll just FEEL better all day, since you can’t really walk around rocking a baby in stilettos. You need to take a moment to yourself. Babies are a lot of work – I mean, I went from pedicures and naps and socializing to spending my days nursing, changing, feeding, burping, rocking to sleep, bathing and singing to a baby. That 1 hour left? A nap for me. In 10 minute intervals. In a chair sitting up unshowered for 2 days.

#3a – learn to do everything with one hand. I recommend tying your one arm around your waist while you’re pregnant to prepare. This includes, but not limited to – feeding yourself, brushing your hair, making coffee, grabbing a new burp rag, opening a new box of diapers, pouring wine, and keg stands.

#4 Running water, fans, rain apps on your ipad and wind in the car all soothe a crying infant. And if that doesn’t work – call the baby whisperer – Jamie Jackson (aka Maximo’s Godmother). Yes, she really is folks! If that isn’t possible – and you’re still up at 3 am with a crying baby – you can wake up dad and try out that Daddle that Aunt Marge got you…even comes with an infant carrier! (yes – I have spent a lot of time up at 3 am myself you can tell finding all this shi*).

#5 GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. If you’re like me, you’ll get cabin fever- and not leaving the house for at least the whole first week can really make it kick in. To avoid being the inspiration for the next “based on a true story by Stephen King” take a walk, go for a drive, go get ice cream, a pedicure or Burger King. And make sure you applied that eyeliner so you at least look like a movie prop zombie, not a real one. 5 minutes in fresh air will do wonders for your soul, mood, sanity, and complexion. And babies love it too – and will love you more after it.

And with that – I am.. OOOOOOPPS excuse me WEEEE ARE (gotta get used to that!) off to lunch with Maximo’s Tia, Roxanna!

Anyone else have anything to contribute? I will 100% be up at 3 am looking forward to trying to new things!